Some of you wonderful people have asked me that question recently and to be honest I ask myself that everyday.
I look in the mirror and wonder what happened to that women before all of this sorrow. I don't know this person in the mirror. She looks back at me with sad eyes, tired eyes. Her hair has gone grey and she has gained enough weight to look unhealthy. Her skin is pale and the smile lines have disappeared. She looks older than she really is. Where has all the joy gone? Where is all her hopes and dreams hiding?
I really don't know who I am anymore and I wonder who I will be when I finally emerge from this cocoon of sorrow, grief and depression? My life as I knew it has forever changed, not only for me but for my whole family.
Depression is a terrible thing, it wraps itself around you and steals your life's breath. It stops you in your tracks and you become stuck in one spot. Everyday problems become insurmountable. You sit alone on the sidelines and watch the game of life but you do not take part.
There are no words, no adjective that are adequate to describe what my Dear Hubby and I are going through each and everyday. We are suffering in our own way. Our pain is the same but different. We have lost so much. We want to help each other but we have both become a little self absorbed in dealing with what life has handed us . All we can do is take each day and do our best. We sprinkle it with love and enclose each day with a hug, We are not ready to let go of all our dreams but we are lost as to how to adjust them to fit our life as it is now.
I have hesitated many times writing anything on my blog, Simply because I am not in a Happy Place. I read so many Happy blogs. I want my blog to be pleasant and joyful. My son was such a creative, happy person and because this blog is dedicated to his memory I want it to be a place that gives the gift of a smile too you.
So next time and hopefully very soon I will share some Happy thoughts and tell you what I have been up to in my little sewing corner. I have been busy!!! I love you all and am thankful for each and everyone of my amazing followers. Some of you and you know who you are have a piece of my heart forever. Thank you.
PS: My name is Beverley but all my friends and family call me "b" the little part is because I am just short.